I have faced doubt, rejection, failure, and fear in my lifetime. I am often attributed to such words as tenacious, passionate, resilient, inspiring, and successful. I am a true entrepreneur who has experienced tremendous obstacles, faced down fear, and persevered through some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. These moments have ironically all been my greatest gifts. They have taught me the importance of perseverance in the face of adversity, pushed me to lean into fear during the most uncomfortable moments, and forced me to rise to the occasion not only to survive in business but in life; to ultimately thrive.
I am the second oldest child in my family. I grew up without my father and never felt like I had a mentor. Becoming a young man, I yearned for a role model; one that I could learn and grow from, authentically. Searching for this, I only came face to face with toxic masculinity and guidance from punishment. This behavior, learned and watched from my own father, was what I thought I should be and do as a man.
Throughout my teen and young adult years, I watched my family slowly crumble. My father struggled with addiction, and my mother held up the family as best as she could. I began to internalize fear and pain, not knowing what to do with the weight of all that was happening around me. I struggled, I pushed down emotions, and I walked through the world with an arrogance and toxicity that took me 20 years to undo and put down.
I feared not being enough. I feared of not being able to do more and I feared the unknown. And yet, as a young man, I knew I had to persevere. I had to provide, to be a man. At 19, I began working in a marketing company and committed myself to my work. I embarked on my first business venture. With an endless desire to grow, learn, and pursue success, I started a business from my bedroom in my parent’s house. I got a loan for $5,000 and transpired this business venture into a billion dollar company. This was no easy feat. I worked hard, learned from my mistakes, and made sacrifices along the way. At 20, I was promoted to a Junior Sales position and was learning how to navigate work and life from all of my mistakes.
I have spent my career taking on new challenges and business ventures while also acting as a mentor to many aspiring business owners and company executives who are striving to propel their ventures and expand their successes. One of my greatest accomplishments in business, however, is found in the pivotal role I played as an original Co-Founder of Digital Media Solutions (DMS). My expertise in marketing and business development helped DMS become the award-winning, leading global martech company it is today. This company is on a path of continued growth and success because of my perseverance and commitment.
During my career, I was often labeled as aggressive and assertive, which in the early days of my professional career were all too true. Nothing good was coming out of my attitude or behavior, internally and externally. The ways in which I was perceived and the ways in which I excelled were not healthy ones.
I kept pushing and working; growing my self-worth financially and my business. Throughout my life, I was taught that I needed to be financially independent, successful, and sustainable. I wanted to give my family financial security. During this time, all I wanted was to give my wife and our two sons financial security. I often questioned what kind of father I was, and what kind of parent I was going to be; all challenging my “manhood” and what it meant to be a man and a father.
When I met my mentor, Jeff Schwartz, my life began to change. I started to self-assess, which was not an easy task nor one that was comfortable for me. Undoing toxicity is not simple. I have dedicated myself to my own self for over 35 key years. Through therapy, self-realizations, self-worth work and ultimately, finding my joy, I have changed who I am on the inside and the outside, and I have excelled.
In my years of refocus, which continues to this day, my business began to thrive more. I have navigated through growth, resilience, and change. This struggle was hard. It was difficult and required intense self-reflection and self-commitment. I have focused on listening to myself, on believing in the phrase “the only way out is in”.
I began to rebuild my relationships with my sons. I wanted to give them direction, knowledge, and wisdom. I had missed out on so much and yet had also learned one of the most important lessons in my life from my son Nicholas, which was to realize the importance of slowing down and having patience; to see myself and him. Having a son diagnosed with autism at a young age challenges you and changes you. I couldn’t fix my son, this wasn’t a curable illness, this was a way of life that I had to see and one that changed my perspective on the world going forward.
I have grown to become a true entrepreneur, a business visionary, and a philanthropist. I have over 25 years of experience in business development, leadership, and fulfillment. I embody a firm belief that there are no shortcuts on a path to success and I carry this mantra with me every day of my life.
During COVID-19, I relearned my sons. I was able to stop and reflect. I couldn’t escape the quiet, the moments that I didn’t have time for before, the spaces where I had to be with my sons. We began to relearn each other. I started experiencing life with my sons. Closeness and a deep bond developed and continues to flourish. We have committed ourselves to be a joint legacy, together.
My meteoric rise from humble beginnings planted deep appreciation and desire in me to help others. I have committed to paying it forward and to providing vital support to those most in need. Becoming philanthropic was innate. I look back on my journey and say that I have risen amongst the ashes many times and have proved myself over and over again. I have become one of the tri-state’s most recognized leaders in business and philanthropy. Advocating for children, specifically those with autism has been a particular focus for me. I have learned so much from my son who is autistic and the importance of advocacy around equitable care and education in disability and neurodivergent people.
Most recently, I was featured on FOX News’ Good Day New York as the “Hero of The Day” for my work with New York State Senator Benjamin after providing a week’s worth of food for more than 400 Harlem-based families. Leading the charge, during the turmoil of COVID-19, I donated nearly one million dollars in essential goods, PPE, and monetary donations to nonprofit organizations struggling to meet unprecedented demand for their services.
I have a resilient mindset. I am a hustler and a leader. I have a deep passion for community building and family building. I have learned from my past mistakes and have overcome obstacles that shape the man and father I am today. I value listening and learning from my sons. I give back to them what they have given me: strength, resilience, honesty, and hope. I have spent my career and my life beating the odds, and now I am dedicated and determined to share the knowledge that I have with those around me.
In my lifetime I have traveled an intricate journey into young adulthood. Experiences both positive and negative, have shaped me into the person I am today, and I am grateful for them all. One of the earliest memories that shaped me as the young man I am today happened when I was 5 years old. I remember my parents doing the best that they possibly could at the time, but being unhappy with each other and eventually telling me they were separating. At 5, as you can imagine, the hurt that I felt, compounded with my young age, was difficult to navigate. However, in my life I have always persisted, even in the most difficult of times. I witnessed my dad move out and live on his own, navigated how to see my parents who were once a complete unit dissolve into two individual people who didn’t communicate well at the time, all while wondering how I could continue to be empathetic and process their split. The weight of the separation had a tremendous effect on me and my relationship with both of my parents and was one that pushed me at a young age to be present in my feelings, my thoughts, and my actions.
Growing up with a sibling who has a disability that they cannot control is both enriching and challenging. My younger brother has autism. People with autism have delayed language skills, delayed movement skills, delayed cognitive or learning skills, hyperactive and impulsive and/or inattentive behaviors, epilepsy or seizure disorders, unusual eating and sleeping habits, and unusual moods with emotional reactions. As a sibling, I sought to bond with my brother, like all siblings do. Bonding, showing love and emotion to my brother was a journey that required patience, growth, and education. I had to learn that I had to meet my brother where he was at and that he wasn’t able to meet me where I was, and that that was ok. I learned and eventually began to love his love for things: roller coasters, video games, puzzles. These are all things that bring him joy, and ultimately bring me joy in the moments I spend with him. This journey made me grow up quickly; I had to navigate my brother with adult-like thinking and cognitive responses. I quickly learned and gained irreplaceable life experiences which turned me into a strong, independent, and caring adult who means the true meaning of family, love, hard work, and most of all, patience.
In life, there are moments that shape who we are and these experiences have deep impacts on our personhood and growth. Throughout my life I have witnessed addiction, bullying, and unhealthy relationships. Experience of alcoholism with one of my closest family members, my Papi (grandfather), gave me lots of perspective on life and on addiction. Although my papi suffered from PTSD, an Army vet, and was a functioning alcoholic, the side effects, realities, and experiences of his addictions did impact my life. When he passed away, eight years ago, I reflected on what addiction and PTSD can do to a person, what he was able to give me as a child and young adult, and the impacts, both positive and negative, of his addiction.
Life experiences shape us, give us moments of solace, of gratitude, and of reflection. All points of growth and evolution.
